Sweetheart No Shark

The poker table is a strange place for observing social interaction.  In everyday culture, one can be somewhat anticipatory of how a group of people will get along; however, on the felt, there is a very strong ulterior motive that drives each player, while everybody sits in close proximity, feigning friendliness.

“Well played!”

“Nice hand.”

“Good luck.”

Bull shit.

Who means any of these things?  Good luck?  It’s a nice sentiment, but it suggests that you want your opponents to win, which of course, is at the expense of YOU winning!

Now, don’t get me wrong.  There absolutely needs to be a certain amount of cordiality, and I’m in no way against maintaining a friendly environment at the card table.  It certainly makes your time there more enjoyable.  Imagine a scenario where everybody said what they thought at the table, it’d be miserable!

Ultimately, however, the point is this:  You can distinguish your sharks from your donkeys along the lines of who means these statements, versus who simply says these statements.

The shark will lose a hand, and, just like most players at the table, say “Nice hand.”  On the inside, though, he’s thinking about how he could’ve played it better, where he should’ve folded, or how he could’ve taken his opponent off the hand.  He’s thinking about these things so, come next time, he won’t lose the hand.  He wants to beat you.  He wants all of your money, every single chip in front of you, and although these things sound hyper-competitive and harsh when discussed aloud, these characteristics make this man a good card player.

The donkey loses his hand, and, like the shark, says “Nice hand.”  He, however, is not thinking about how the hand played itself out.  He plays the game differently.  He enjoys the gamble, and like most mature gamblers, he recognizes that, “Hey, you win some, you lose some.”  He means it when he says “Nice hand.”  His opponent winning the pot is the next best thing to winning the pot himself.  He’s a sweetheart, and although I’d like to surround myself with sweethearts in my social life, they’re always going to go broke at the poker table.

Here’s the bottom line: While your exterior disposition may not necessarily reflect your inner attitude, that attitude had better be driven by taking every single dollar from your opponents, regardless of how sweet, kind, gentle, downtrodden, sad or down on their luck they might be.

Again, while recognizing the harshness of my statements, I full heartedly stand behind them.  In the end, if you’re not at the table to take money from your opponents, you’d better stay home…