In addition to my Noteworthy Hand series, I’d like to inaugurate a Jack-Handey-esque Random Thought series. It’ll be little more than my inane brain children, allowing my mind a moment’s rest from these haphazard ideas, as I transmit them to your mind.
I realize I spend a lot of time sarcastically complaining about poker table annoyances. And although this image I’ve created for myself as the cantankerous pessimist is largely schtick, there is an ounce of truth to my negativity, and I understand that constant negativity can be deflating.
That said, I’d like to share a recent realization. I was sitting at a table with people perfectly typical of my usual complaints. That is to say, they were loud, self-absorbed and unimpressive. But as I sat quietly contemplating the usual poker minutiae, it occurred to me that my own image at the table could equally be scrutinized.
My realization: A poker table starring nine people who act exactly like I do would be the single most boring poker game in the history of the world.
This humble realization kept me laughing in my head for an hour. I thoroughly enjoy verbalizing my exasperations with fellow loud-mouth players, but imagining a table where nobody spoke, everybody wore headphones and modeled a constant half-scowl is painfully insipid. Staying awake would be a far more mentally draining task than determining how to play your A-Q from the small-blind.
This does not mean, of course, that I will stop my ranting. But I want to make perfectly clear that my demeanor at the poker table is only one of many, and without argument, the least entertaining.