The Complaint Ratio

As I’ve stated numerous times, the game of poker is filled with people who think the sun shines only for them.  Each win and loss is the single most important event of the moment, and to hell with the rest of you!  (Of course, everybody thinks of themselves first while playing poker.  The conflict arrises when these people have the audacity to assume that everybody at the table is equally concerned with their hand-to-hand misfortune.)

I suppose, really, the only somewhat original tag I’d like to attach to this already tired point is this: People complain far too much.

Now, I realize that everybody bitches about something at some point during a poker session.  I do it too.  It’s hard to sit idly as you seemingly get rivered on every hand.  It’s an emotional game.

That said, I saw something that truly stunned even me, an already-pessimistic crank, about the reality of your average player’s self-centered nature.  I’d been playing an 8-16 game for perhaps an hour, hovering around even, having only played 4-5 hands during that opening stretch, sitting patiently and quietly.  A middle-aged man takes a seat right next to me.  He plays seven hands, wins the eighth with 9-4, and begins receiving some friendly criticism from his table-mates about the hand selection.

“Well, geez, I’ve been sitting here, and haven’t even seen a face card yet!  10-5, 7-6, 5-2, that’s all I ever get!”  This string of complaints continued for several minutes.

This man had been playing for exactly 11 minutes.  How can a seemingly grown and mature adult male be flustered after 660 seconds of bad cards?

Poker REQUIRES patience.  It’s an absolutely essential characteristic of any winning card player. Okay, a man this absurd clearly wouldn’t be swayed by the winning poker-strategy argument.  How about this: Your seemingly endless string of bad cards notwithstanding, could you please keep the overwhelming frustration to yourself? No, that’s no good either.  The rest of the table mildly engaged him in discussion.  Okay, last try:  Sir, did you know that I’ve been playing for an hour, and have played perhaps four hands?  I seem to find a way to deal with the vexation! Nah, he really doesn’t care about my ups and downs…

I know, I’m easily irked, and this specific exaggerated situation is rare.  But seriously?  After seven hands of play, you find it justifiable to voice your irritation about your cards?

Your average player seems to find something undesirable in every loss.  It’s so easy to forget the nine times you three-outed for the win, but so hard to forget the one time it happened to you.

Ultimately, due to human nature, and the fact that on any given hand, there will be one winner and eight losers, I would set The Complaint Ratio as:

One Complaint   –         for every   –         One Hand