(this was the tail-end of a week long non-poker trip to Vegas recently)

A game-time decision to play the morning turbo tournament at MGM Grand turned out to be the gambling equalizer on a week-long trip to Vegas.  After getting burned in the Pai Gow pits and lowly slums of the penny slot machines, it was the 2-minute drill before having to shove off for warmer weather in Minneapolis.  Yes, for a brief week it was actually warmer a couple of thousand miles Northeast then it was in the middle of the desert.

After paying the $65 buy-in to receive $2,000 in tournament chips with starting 25/50 blinds and doubling those blinds every 20 minutes, it was known that playing for small pots was going to get me a short stacked 18th-25th place finish, which paid nothing but the free stream of Captain and Cokes.  Luckily, I never ran into that problem thanks to a mix of good cards, run good, and good players.  Usually good players you’d prefer at other tables, but they not only kept my interest into this all-in fest, they made me think before making decisions.  Of course, random guy who usually plays high-stakes blackjack wander in and start amassing a stack with hero calls of jack-high on double paired boards, only to lose those chips to the solid players sitting on my left.

The first big hand occurred just four hands into the tournament as I sat in the small blind after taking down a small orphaned pot the previous hand with air and position.  AQo with four limpers ahead of me, I choose to just call as the big blind checked his option.  A – J – Q rainbow came out, as I led out for 200 and got 4! callers.  With BOOM! BOOM! POW! thumping in the background at the adjecent Centrifuge bar, the dealer and poker gods kindly turned another queen on the board for me.  No time for acting here as I led out for 500 this time and only managed to lose one person as the gentleman on my left I recognized from the 1-2 NL cash game called as did the overdressed for 11am japanese dude.  The river blanked, as I flung another 500 out there and cash game guy called again, but businessman stood on the table and shouted “BANZAI!!!!!1111″ while shoving all-in.  Ok, he did a triple take of his cards knowing his flopped straight was good trying to get my remaining 1,200 chips before shoving all-in.  I snap called, as cash game guy most likely folded a queen and my boat was good versus the suit who didn’t know flopped straights never get there.

Very next hand, pocket kings which I raised from the button to 275 to dissuade the couple of early position limpers.  Good player on my left which I’d been chatting with about an aging Paul Pierce and the putid Timberwolves re-pops me to 750-850.  This time I hollywood a bit because I’d only had two drinks in me and after a short wait, and seeing he’d only had 1,000 behind, I thought he’d pay me off if I shoved, so I did.  Unfortunately, I got the one guy at the table who could fold pocket queens in that spot.  Still, a nice pot and gave me room for a few blind and continuation bet type steals.

Last hand before the first break, I called a min raise from the big blind QJo as the middle position raiser and small blind watched a Q – Q – T flop.  Interestingly enough the small blind led out for 400 with the blinds already at 200/400 ante 25 (like I said TURBO!).  Since I had nearly 6K behind, a smooth call was elected and the short stacked raiser pushed about 1,500 into the middle.  It’s the small blind’s money I wanted since he’d just doubled up off me racing pocket sevens vs. my big slick, but he folded as I called to see his not-in-good shape A9o.  No runner-runner and the table broke for the break as a quick glance around after my third drink told me there were only four tables left already.

Near chip lead at the new table, my folding powers took precident over my suckout powers as I folded two hands A9o and KJo to early position shoves that would have boosted my chip count to obscene levels, choosing to take advantage of my stack and get more free drinks while enjoying the company.  Down to two tables, just before the break again I catch queens on the button facing a raise from the Nordic blonde who raised from UTG to 3K and had a similar big stack to mine around 10-12K.  With blinds at 400/800 ante 100 there was no time for “plays” as I shoved hoping he’d call with the Ax that he certainly had.  After an internal debate and some umlauts, he would fold and I gladly ran to the crowded bathroom as the chip leader.  This was important as the second hand back from the break I found red aces and led out for 3K.  Sure enough my lutefisk lover took the bait and shoved with QsJs, and I took a little sweat after a jack flopped but no other paint hit the board, up to near 20K.

Nothing of note happened from here except two steals kept my big stack, well big as I took out a few micro stacks making math calls in my blinds with powerhouses like 54o (which made quads) and 73o (which hit a seven).  At last the lone dangler departed and we reconvened to blogger donkey blood stained Table 16 where interestingly enough a similar amount of cash was laid upon it, minus The Mark calling time on himself.  $1,600 for 1st, $1,100 for 2nd, $650 for third, trickling down to $90 for eighth, as the final ten tried to get chop numbers up right away with donkalicious blinds at 1,500/3,000 ante 500 and being third in chips I had 26K.

Pai Gow anyone?

The big stack shot down the chop talks, after playing maybe an orbit, we would lose 10th, 9th, and 8th in consecutive hands with the two big stacks getting bigger while ultra-shorties were looking at an even shorter payday without a chop.  This time when discussions went up the big stack offered to take $1K while second place wanted $700-$800 I believe.  This left $535 for the other five in which I had no desire to play more Pai Gow after they stole my dragon hand soul over the course of the week and accepted the deal.

Back to near-even for gambling on the week as I was ready to accept the loses, this found money may be the seed to head back to the WSOP this summer with a fellow degenerate. No, I will not be playing in the $10K O8 World Championship as my wife may decide to burst into the Amazon room with a taser gun and drag my ass from the chair with drink still in hand.  Instead the $1K June 12th event or with hopes to return to glory at Binions may be in store.

17 years old I stepped onto what was a newer casino.  Becoming 18 was a rite of passage present from my gambling enriched mother who was my base for loving a game of cards as well as taking as many prop bets my wallet could handle.  Grand Casino Mille Lacs was nothing more than a few rows of nickel slots (with believe it or not you had to actually feed the round coins in to play), a huge bingo hall, and a bank of blackjack tables.  Silvers would be under my stack for the whole evening as the $3 tables suited the guy working for $4.25/hour at the local Target in Crystal.  By the end of night though I would be sporting a wide smile and a nifty black chip on the winner’s trot to the cashier’s window before the bumpy trek along highway 169 back to Maple Grove. 

Fast forward to today. I’ll find myself playing for a little higher stakes as black chips sometimes find their way into my stack by the end of the night.  The casino has exploded into a family destination with a beautiful golf course, entertainment center, child care (which just re-opened), and a bank of slots that would rival an off-strip Vegas casino.  But, I’m here today for the first official event of the Minnesota State Poker Tour and as of press time 130 players are seated in this $1,000 + $100 NLHE event at the fabulous Waabizheshi Marten conference room at Grand Casino Mille Lacs.  This is my first setting in a live poker tournament as part of the media rather than making someone cry from my lack of poker skills on the felt.  Instead, you the reader get to put up with my lack of English skillz and simple sentence structure mangling that would have a creative writing professor pull her hair out. 

Currently seated at Table 14 with my new media center hook-up after some stumbling blocks like sitting in the restricted cashier’s area that the security people failed to see the 6’4” 210 lbs guy in the Chicago Cubs t-shirt slither behind them to reach an outlet.  After a stern talking to from the gracious Grand Casino hosts we’re settled in for some poker action.  John Dragich winner of the first MSPT event at Canterbury Park is sitting over at Table 12 ready to start another run at an another bracelet.  Table 10 seat 4 found co-head honcho of the MSPT Bryan Mileski as his cohort Phil Mackey after winning his buy-in via satellite nestled into seat 9 Table 6. 

Table 5 found three lady rounders taking their shots at the same table, eyeing the $36,990 first prize of this two-day event.  To be honest I expected coming up here to see 60-70 players, but instead got treated to a near full room of Minnesota’s best card players including seven ladies three of which we’re gathered at Table 5 to beat up on the guys.  Not surprising was their high level of play, as I watched hand where the fairer sex took down a near $5K pot with blinds at 100/200 holding  just a pair of deuces after getting called down by ace high.

It’s a little daunting at the live tourney versus my usual online presence.  Chip counts are a huge difference where usually a click of a button shows just how much each player has and who the chip leaders are.  Here I had to walk around the tables, and use MATH!  Counting up the orange $1K chips and try to tell the purple $500 chip from the pink $5K chip will take some time getting used to as the first break I used the opportunity to guess the chip leader was around $33K.  Another thing is these icons move!  The table chatter is mostly friendly as the group of people who play these tourneys have most likely seen each other at different venues.

Also put away any thoughts of this being a young gun’s playground as the average age of the players was not 22.  Young and old were evenly represented tonight as they played until midnight stopping for the evening regardless of the number of players left.  18 of the 124 would get shipped some money for their time at the tables, but only one would walk away with the bracelet (from Continental Diamond of course!) and the $36,990.00 first prize.

Me, I’m taking away an experience of top-flight poker being played right here in my home state before my very eyes and hopefully folks will drop by here to read about it.  Maybe next time I’ll stick around a little longer than the first few levels and experience the all-nighters my co-workers at the PokerStarsBlog chat about, but for now there’s a couple of kids with a massive blanket fort at home hoping their daddy comes home soon.

Weekend With Laptops

Tried a little experiment last night.

No, it did not envolve my wife, the Adam and Eve diry schoolgirl pack, or copulous amounts of Captain Morgan “Bite”(if you like lime in your Cap’n Coke I suggest give it at least a try, but snobbish me likes the real thing if I can be bothered to quarter them after buying the $.49 pack of citrus at Target).  Since this is was a poker blog you get poker more often than poke her news which if her parents are reading happened just three times over the past 12 years.

Had to test the goods before breeding of course.

Anyhow…   this month is a slight dip back into the playing pool of FPPs, FTPs, and any other acronyms used at the various poker sites for their frequent player points/VIP programs.  My intent is to achieve SilverStar again at Stars, and some variation of Iron Man at Full Tilt (this is split into Bronze, Silver, Gold, IRON MAN *cue Ozzy to jump out of your laptop looking a bit confuzzled asking you to score some Oxycontin while the rest of Black Sabbath starts up the BBBWWWWWOOOOWWWW I. AM. IRON. MAN).  Thanks to the new heroin of poker, Rush Poker is allowing people like myself (low rollers who don’t keep a lot of cash online) to achieve status at their site so I can purchase a couple of college educations from their FTP store.  Saves a lot of trouble scrapping by on ramen noodles and our new peddle-powered cars so that my kids can enjoy the wonders of Anthropology 201:  The Study of Ancient Byzantine Sponges at the college of their choice.

Or that nikon camera might come in handy hitting up the beach for the two weeks during the summer that we can be outside from 1:00-1:15pm without having to wear five layers.  I kid, its actually three weeks and thanks to global warming there’s an extra five minutes of beach volleyball and sand castles.

To the poker!  Ok, I fired up the following to see which would produce the most “points” at the two sites mentioned above in beautiful blue underline because I enjoy both and have friends working there so please support them or you’re responsible for pulling them away from the back row of Mr. Cashman two cent slot machines at the Four Queens as they try to win back their once stable paycheck while double fisting $.99 shrimp cocktails with the pissed off look of someone who just had their puppy kicked.  No pressure.

Full Tilt:  One famous “Rush Poker” table $.25/$.50 blinds (because I’m a BALLER!)
PokerStars:  Eight No Limit Omaha 8 or Better tables with $.25/$.50 blinds and a complete lack of bankroll management since I keep no more than $600 on the site at all times

The play lasted for about ninety minutes as AlCantHang hopped on the girly chat and Twitter with pictures of those delicious TastyKakes only found in the heavily wooded area of Pennsyltucky which made my mind wander back to the greatest convenience store in the world, and also the site where I spent a little time with two police officers and failing horribly to appear sober while slobbering on a freshly made philly cheesesteak after last call at the Boathouse.

Zero focus, good for writing, bad for poker.  Live and learn on the interwebs folks we’re here for you.

Ok, after ninety minutes of half attention I manage to not blow my meager bankrolls at the respective sites and managed to shuffle cash from one site to the other as par on most nights when I play at both.

PokerStars:  +$42.89
Full Tilt:  -$29.24

Since I do not play NLHE cash games often without being surrounded by the good folks who normally come here, what’s with the new “let’s-limp-aces-and-call-everything” style of play seen at Full Tilt?  The monsters under the bed radar goes way up after a can of Surly Furious and seeing this passive to the extreme play no less than four times in 90 minutes.  While I never played them for stacks, I did crack the aces twice with two pair simply because check-call all the way down is better left for a limit game.  Nonetheless, there were no horrible stackings after being down over a buy-in, I only lost a little less than a buy-in thanks to a flopped set of jacks and someone who just couldn’t fold his/her pocket fours in the last five minutes of the session.

PokerStars went better despite getting stacked five minutes after pouring said beer, and in puke-and-rally form made a decent profit on the night thanks to people who try playing Omaha Hi in a split game.

The important stuff:

Full Tilt:  147.16 FTPs  (last 15 minutes of play was during “Happy Hour” thus points were doubled, would have waited for Happy Hour to start, but sleep is a fun thing to do when your daughter is bound to wake you at 2am to search for her Rainbow Care Bear)
PokerStars:  225.18 VPPs

Note:  PokerStars gives you VPPs to “rank” you in their VIP hierarchy but gives you FPPs at the same rate while multiplied by your “rank”.  Example:  as a “SilverStar” I get a 1.5 multipler so I received *gets calculator* 337.77 FPPs to use in their store last night.

I thought it would be a wash but mutli-tabling still held king over the crack table BUT the risk of ruin is much higher with funds so far spread out, I’ll continue this little experiment throughout the month as time and cookie monster kids permit as there’s a poker game in G-Vegas next month that I will flying out for and need the practice against people who treat chips like lego blocks.

Minnesotans already blanketed by some white stuff as the shovels were not quite put away for the season and unless Punxsutawney Phil says otherwise we’ll enjoy every flurry and flake. People who like snow most likely don’t have an 5am daily commute and got stuck behind a snowplow while having to share a car for the week because the other one had a transmission that decided to cease functioning while driving 65mph down I-694 with two kids in the back that wanted nothing other than to learn how float in water.

Tax return to shore up savings? Yeah, that was a great idea at the time. Kinda feel like the couple in “Up” trying to throw change into the large jar for the trip to Paradise Falls only to have life show up at the door and say “take the hammer out again, the move is going to have to wait”. It’s the journey right? Right now that journey has frozen digits 90% of the day and a daughter who tries to make two gallons of cherry red kool-aid in a dixie cup then decides to clean up the mess by smearing in on the walls and tile with a white towel.

At least there’s a smile.

The busy end-of-the-month Sunday’s at the PokerStarsBlog give me a chance to slide on the cozy slippers of hair metal, online geniuses, and bad puns as the kids and wife vacated the porch while wrote up the Battle of the Planets, $1,000,000 Turbo Takedown, and Sunday Warm-up tournaments. While those were going on, my eye was taking a quick glance at Twitter because rumors have been swirling about a certain Minnesota sports icon looking to come back.

No, sadly if you’re one of the legion of Brett Favre fans no word from the land baron as of yet. My advice is to listen for the words from Jay Glazer or local reporter Mark Rosen NOT Ed Wants-to-stir-the-pot-and-play-with-the-big-kids Werder.

Pic cred sportsnet.ca

No, its the hometown kid. “The One”. The reason for the move from the homerdome to Target Field starting this season. St. Paul’s own Joe Mauer is on the cusp of signing with the Twins basically a contract for the remainder of his career. Effectively removing any chance of tainting the all-star catcher with Yankee pinstripes, LA Douchebagerry or Bloody Soxs should he sign contract being floated out there instead of bagging the bloated contract he could demand from the above teams.

While I will always have an interest in the local ballclub, it’s magnified when number seven is playing. Much like a golf tournament with Tiger Woods, a hockey game with Gretzky, to a Minnesota Twins fan who had to watch their hero from the 80s fall from grace and to health, because of Joe Mauer they had someone special to cheer for again. While Puckett exerted energy, Mauer’s freshly cropped sideburns brings the quiet cool. Cool enough to to be in awe but friendly enough to play some catch with the fans on a side street if asked.

Mr. Mauer it is with hope that you decide to spend half a season in the confines of downtown Minneapolis for the next decade as I’ll be there every month except in April because outdoor baseball in such a month in this state is borderline retarded (yes, I have played in snow several times). Just make the decision soon and leave the ESPN drama to Favre who has experience in such waffling and football fans have grown used to it.

Take the high road down newly named Twins Way and find a few fans that will show up regardless of team’s record (and maybe even the weather).

Playing poker is tough enough with the swings, the beat, the grind, the math but add in antsy kids and a wife who had a tough day at the office and well playing poker gets put in the back seat with the groceries.

It came at an inopportune time last night for all three of them to express their displeasure of having to wait for the degenerate to continue a quest towards a World Blogger Championship of Online Poker final table so they could go to the restaurant they were promised once dear old dad busted out. Hour one could have happened early but I managed to make a few hands. Hour two I caught some hands. But, the thermometer reached a high and poker thinking was shut down and yes I could have just sit out and probably made the SCOOP cash, but instead I just pushed the chips away while powering down the laptop.

Dumb? Poker wise, yes. Family wise, easy decision. Anti-climatic from doing a live blog for over two hours? Grrrrrrr.

Thus the conundrum of a middling poker player having to balance Dr. Seuss stories with razor sharp total concentration (example below) just doesn’t happen. At any point during a rush that phone call has to be answered, that cry for help on subtraction problems needs to be heard, and frankly it’s a no-brainer for me to leave the felt and work out the removal of digits from my son’s homework.

There’s the 8-Game tourney later in the week that I’m eyeing as the main event is slated right in the middle of the three tourneys I’m covering and definitely is out. I did manage to carve out a little me-time as the green light was lit for a G-Vegas visit in March and barring life-threatening issues, my focus will be on one thing:

Being with good friends with good drinks and adding yet more memories with these people that went from fonted letter with various blinking icons to certified friends that I’d chat about anything with. Including the signing of Jim Thome by the Twinkies yesterday. Meh.

Is there any poker downtime anymore?  The start of Tennis’ Australian Open means the Aussie Million should be kicking off… yep. Good luck to those covering and playing.

And we bloggers have our own free attempt to become high rollers once SCOOP at PokerStars rolls around. As the WBCOOP kicks off next week with a series of freerolls to enter players into the Spring Championship of Online Poker with a chance of fancy watches and bundles of cash (not to mention the probability of a dashing poker blogger writing about your exploits).

The Borgata had the single reason Southern Comfort turns a profit every year in a line that rivaled any DisneyWorld ride to enter their 2010 Winter Open. Check out his live-ish Tweet-fest from donkey-land here.

We’ll stop this poker reporting for a breaking development. Ever wonder what lady bobsledders are wearing while you watch the Winter Olympics come up soon? Wonder no more:

Much better than Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction by far.

Tonight a return to the virtual felt for me as a warm-up for next week as I’d like to be a part of SCOOP in a writer/player capacity much like Pete Rose being a player/manager/gambler for the Phillies. Except without the asshole holier-than-thou attitude and busty sidekicks while signing autographs at a Vegas sports memorabilia store. Instead I’ll surround myself with two kids that have no off button, a handle of Captain, and a signature worth less than Tiger Woods’ current endorsement deals.

(a little Vikings recap, but if you want real insight go hit up PMac’s page)

All eyes (until Sunday for Vikes fans) are currently on the tragic situation after the earthquake in Haiti.  For you online players, PokerStars has come up with a fun way to make a donation towards the cause.  Read the press release shown below:

Dear all

PokerStars.com and PokerStars.net players are offering their help to the
people of the Earthquake-ravaged Caribbean nation of Haiti. Tens of
thousands of people are feared dead and up to three million affected by
the huge tremor. Please promote this appeal as soon as possible.
Players can donate in two ways and all donations will be matched by
PokerStars and donated to the Red Cross.

Players can either

a)    Transfer to the account “Haiti Fund” using the Transfer Funds tool
under Requests menu.

Or…

b)    Players can enter one of the dummy tournaments located under
Tourney > Special called “Haiti Earthquake Relief”. Please note these are
not real tournaments, just a means for players to donate and publicly show
their efforts for the relief efforts. Players can enter the “tournaments”
for amounts ranging from $1 to $1,000.

At the time of writing this, thousands have already donated. Among those
who have donated the maximum include Team PokerStars Online player
Anders “Donald” Berg and American pro Steve Silverman.

Best wishes,

Ally Hendry
P♠kerStars

Starting today or maybe yesterday you’ll find my posts (except the dark, semi-creepy, non-Confucius filled scribbings) both here at MNPokerMag.com and my personal site Nickleanddimes, with two kids and a continuation of last spring’s fitness resolution there hasn’t been time to squeeze out enough strictly poker-related material between two blogs. Throw into the mix that Playstation 3 that I bought on Amazon while comfortably in my lucky green and red jammies with dice on them on Black Friday for the same price as those who lined up at midnight at various stores (SUCKERS!), and my little poker free time is being torn into another half.

Dragon Age: Origins has been the name of the timesuck. It takes me back to the days before I dished out money on the virtual poker tables and spent my days doleing out critical hits on lvl 50 Enchanters and hunting down the latest uber gear in Dark Age of Camelot. Except this time it’s with a clearer mind of not getting addicted to the seemingly endless storyline. For some it’s killing pixels via Modern Warfare or Borderlands, for me I enjoy the specializations and nerdery of RPG games with valliant quests to find Rexel’s mother who was lost in the woods during the Blight’s latest’s push to overcome mankind.

NERDS!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I know this. Some people do quilting in the dark, I play online RPG games and can still hit a softball further than you so there. I win at life and get the +6 DragonScale Cool Shades.

Poker will come back into focus by the weekend as the WBCOOP is starting up at the end of the month and this humble blogger would love to be on both sides of the SCOOP ticket this time. I’ll also run a live-blog here most likely for the 8-game or PLO tourney if I’m at home and grab a piece of couch that isn’t overrun by two kids hopped up on those M and M stuffed plastic candy canes.

See you then.